How to get kids to study
So you got the kids back in school but how do you get your kids to study? And How to make a Good study habits for kids, So let’s start
I think we need to have a little conversation right up front about what your job is as a parent. So think about that for just a minute.
What is your job as a parent?
Some parents will say,to keep them safe and to make sure that they have everything that they need..And yes, I think those are all great answers. I’m going to throw a little wrench in it here and we’re going to back up,
okay. Your job as a parent is to love them no matter what and even if. So we can play the even if game if you want.
Even if they’re not productive citizens? Yes, your job is still to love them.
Even if they’re incarcerated? Yes, even if they’re incarcerated.
Even if they choose a lifestyle that I don’t agree with that violates our family values? Yes, even if they choose a lifestyle you don’t agree with and that violate your family values. Are we clear about this?
Your job as parent is to love them no matter what and even if. As you wrap your head around that then everything else I can share with you is going to be a helpful tool and a resource. If you forget about your job as parent then everything I’m sharing with you is no more than manipulation and psychological games. I want to be clear about that because I feel this is so important for parents to understand their job because you don’t control all of those out comes. To make sure that they’re happy, oh, that sounds really great and and I think it comes from the best place in your heart but it’s not within your control to make sure that they’re happy, to make sure that they pass school.
weintervene way too much as parents because we think our job is to make sure that they don’t fail. Now having said that, I’m going to come back to that probably because that’s really important to me. Your job is to love them no matter what and even if so let’s stay clear about that. Now because we love them, we want them to be happy, right? Because we love them. What do you want for the people you love? Why do you want them to be happy? Because we love them,
we want them to succeed in school. Why? Because their life is better if they succeed in school.Sure, it’s going to impact your life as a parent but let’s get out of the way, okay?This is not about you, this is about your kids
so how do I get my kid to study or to do their homework or to turn in their assignments or perform well in school?
We should give them motivation for study
Okay, let’s do some strategizing there. Why? Because we love them and we want their life to rock. Sure, our life will be better but that’s only peripheral, okay.That’s secondary, don’t get too focused on this is about you or it reflects on you as a parent. If that’s where you’re coming from, then we need to have another conversion. Get out of the way, this is not about you,this is about your kid, okay. And because you love them, you want them to succeed. I know I’m probably over emphasizing that but that’s how important it is, okay?
The strategies and Ways to Motivate your Kids to Study
because we love them, we want them to have a great experience in life including being successful in school. Think about your own experience, how important has it been for you to learn to do the hard thing snow so that you can have an easier life later on? Yeah, that’s what we’re talking about here. So depending on your child’s level of maturity.
Three different stages of maturity, you can link to it right up here and in that article, you learned to discern what stages my child’s on. This is important because what stage they’re on is going to determine what kind of strategy you’re going to use to encourage them to do their job.
If they’re on stage one no 1 Way to Motivate your Kids to Study,
you’re going to use consequences and specifically the kind of consequences that don’t require cooperation.
If they’re on stage two, then you’re goingto use some communication along with consequences to help encourage them to do what their job is.
If they’re on stage three, you don’t have to worry about it,they’re just taking care of it and you’re observing from the sidelines so that’s a really important thing to review.
Beyond that Ways to Motivate your Kids to Study, here’s what I’m thinking.. If you have a strong enough why, you’ll figure out and this is true for you, it’s also true for your kids.
Why should your kids go to school?Why should your kids do their homework?
Why should your kids turn in that assignment? If their only reason is because mom’s going to clobber me if Idon’t, that’s not a strong enough why and you’re going to be having this for their entire school experience,
Until they come up with a why.
Once the kid has a why then that drives their behavior, provided that they’re mature enough to be there, now the why..You know what? So as we help our kids to find or identify their own why, it’s not going to be the same one that we have, okay. So I think that’s important to notice. We have our own why about why our kids should study, right? But that doesn’t alway stranslate over to them
We don’t necessarily endorse threats at live. it’s every parent, every parent does it. I’m going to take away, you can’t play football or you can’t be on the wrestling team or you can’t be in the choir. I’m going to take away something you like, something you excel that, actually and that’s the sad part, I’m going to take it away. I’m going to take away your iPhone, I’m going to take away your Xbox, I’m going to take away friends, I’m going to ground you if you don’t behave the way I want you to behave and to me that was getting no where, absolutely no where.
There bribes and paying for grades, I think helped a little bit but I still was not getting the results so all of a sudden, –
t’s not what you are about. – It’s not what I’m trying to do here but I do want to give you a feeling of what will happen if you do not study and you don’t do your homework.
I guarantee you, the individuals you are going to see pushing the brooms and restocking the shelves did not in junior high say when asked “what do you want to do when you grow up?” I promise you not one of them said stock shelves at 2:00a.m. in the morning but because they made decisions early in their life,this is what they’re limited to do. Their options are here,
these are individuals who chose not to do their homework,
I love you no matter what but my gut is telling me this is not what you envision your life being like. My gut is telling me that you want to own your own business, you want to bea consultant, you want to be a dynamic cinematographer, you want to be a developer,
there’s so many things you could do to Motivate your Kids to Study
and this isn’t one of them but you’re on a path that leads you here Well you know what? And I think the reason that’s true is because we’re getting closer to providing a why that makes sense to them. It’s not about us, it’s not about our why. “Hey, in my job and I think in most everybody’s job, if you do an exceptional work, you get rewarded exceptionally. This is so powerful. . I knew that would fit in just really nicely as we’re talking about how do you get your kids to study or do anything else that really requires their why, not our own. – I This is what’s on the table and then we put it in a box, we call the bank, and then at the end of the semester, we have it, we give it up. We reconcile the bank account. – Accordingto the report. – According to the report card.
Now the unimportant thing is, I’m there constantly saying “I will help you if you want straight Ans. If you want straight Ans, although I’ll help you, I won’t do your homework but I will help you every single night. If you want straight Ans, we can do it, we can do it.”
Didn’t you love that story?When you have a strong enough why, you’ll figure out the how.
If you’re new here,please subscribe themammasdiaries.com